A Question of Vulnerability

Okay so this blog has become more and more about me and bringing you guys on this journey with me. I have a ton of new awesome stuff to share with you (especially in the new year!!) , but I wanted to first talk about something thats been on my mind recently... vulnerability.. and why its such a big question mark in todays Girl Boss world. As female entrepreneurs we are told to be bad ass, put on your 6 inch heels on, drink your strongest coffee and wear black on black …. just like your heart, right? Wrong! We feel so much but yet we are all about the bad chick, ride or die, feminist, takeover mentality. So how can both live together in our realities?

Let's think about it for a second.... We are supposed to be killing it in the work place, be completely unemotional and work our asses off to grow in companies or push our own brands to where we want them to be…. we are not supposed to be wasting time feeling all the things we feel. Its the girl boss phenomenon. As a generation we are training ourselves to be this way.

Yet, to grow strong relationships (especially with alpha males - which most girl bosses like myself desire) we need to show our vulnerability. If there is nothing to take care of, why would anyone stick around to do so. Call me crazy but I'm learning the "miss independent" vibe can only go so far, and certainly doesn't help in the realm of intimacy.

So if you actually feel something, when is the appropriate time to show it?

I don’t know about you guys, but personally I am having a hard time finding the balance of when it is okay to be emotionally tuned in. I've spent so much time developing my exterior shell so that I could become who I am professionally (and still have a long way to go!), that my emotional intelligence was pushed aside to leave room for a strong work ethic.

My thoughts on this.... We have to find the balance and find what (and who) allows us to explore our sensitivity without judgement. Being vulnerable towards someone else is a gift you give not only them, but yourself. You learn more about yourself than they will about you.

You may not agree at first, but think about how often you hide your true self... its probably rather common in your daily routine. By allowing someone to see inside you, you let them experience what you have to give, the actual you. To dive deeper into a relationship this part needs to be seen. To grow trust and care, vulnerability is at the core.

And in the bigger picture, vulnerability let's us find that balance between the girl boss hustle and the emotional desires to spend 24hrs staring at the stars talking about our feelings. I don't have time for this lala land... nor do most of you. So balance. Pick a few times a day where you are connected to someone on a deeper emotional level. It could be first thing in the morning, or when you get back from your day. With your parents, your best friend, your alpha male.... whom ever you feel is that person.

Look, the more closed you are, the more likely you are to explode with emotional word vomit. So maybe this is your solution, find someone to open up to and confide in that can do the same to you. Its rewarding. Its also scary and we fear judgement, but do so slowly and at your own pace. Come home from your busy day and take off your stilettos and pick up the phone to tell someone what really happened, what you really felt and slowly, slowly let that be your routine to achieve balance.

I'm so far from an expert, but I do believe we can have it all and we can find our balance... and I will forever get a thrill from the hustle, but an equal thrill from romance. Of course right when you find your balance, something new will enter your mix and through it off. This is life. But perhaps somewhere in that, a rock of stability and confidence can keep us grounded. Are we all just looking for someone to be vulnerable with?

xx Sam